I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
