If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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