what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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