i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
