My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
