so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
