i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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