You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
