he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
