I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
