booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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