You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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