Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
