Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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