nut hugger
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
