I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
