dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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