Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
