he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
