you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
