dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
