Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
