saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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