He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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