God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
