My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
