Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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