I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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