I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Every concussion has its silver lining
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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