Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
