So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
