I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
