I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
whose parrot is this?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
