2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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