dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
