I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
