1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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