i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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