I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
