When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
