She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
whose parrot is this?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
