he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
