I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
