A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
