im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
