Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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