This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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