belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
