I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
so much tequila, so little girl.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
