Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
