We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
