I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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