I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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